Reading to a Theater

My lack of updates has nothing to do with a lack of bad science fiction costumes, but rather reader's theater practice. Performances are this Friday and Saturday evening, and tonight is our final night to put it all together. I'm on sound effects, and have a small reading part, as well. It's no Prairie Home Companion, but some of our players are very talented.

One Bad Costume (Helmet): Tron in Tron

This may be another case of men in ugly tights for most viewers, but for me, it's all about the helmets. They're just plain dorky. Having said that, there is a geek-sized place in my heart for Tron, no matter what the costumes look like. I'm in line right now for Tron: Legacy. Look at the character art for that movie- no shower caps, and very few helmets. Looks like they've learned something.

One Bad Costume: Buck Rogers

Sorry, Gil Gerard fans, but only four men in history have looked great in white tights and boots. Beyond this, what says "target" more than a soldier in pure white? He should fight alongside Imperial storm troopers! Before you call him monochromatic, though, check out that snazzy rainbow arm band. At least he's in great shape.

No Babble This Week

With work, homecoming, and reader's theater practice all taking place this weekend, we can't get more than two babblers in a room at one time, so will postpone the show until next weekend. We had only watched two of the four films we want to cover, anyway, so now will have time to finish up. The topic? The Jaws movies. Yes, even the horrible ones. Can't wait!

One Bad Costume: Minilla (Son of Godzilla) in Anything

Godzilla was one bad monster until his son arrived, and humanized the whole franchise. I love Godzilla. I really can't handle Minilla, however, and the costume is atrocious. I'm not saying any more than most Godzilla fans also say, but I'll add my voice to the chorus. Uggh!

One Bad Costume: Creature from the Haunted Sea

It's not surprising to discover this gem of a costume comes to us from a Roger Corman film. Looking something like a combination of the Black Lagoon creature and Cookie Monster, it's rather tough to imagine this beasty striking fear into anything other than seaweed-pecan sandies.

One Bad Costume: Judge Dredd in Judge Dredd

This is a great example of a costume which doesn't translate well between the image on a page and an actor on a screen. As a comic, Dredd's uniform is just fine. As a live image, not so much. From the massive golden shoulder eagle to the half-shade helmet, Stallone looks... well, a bit silly. Not to mention that codpiece. Guilty pleasure alert: I'm one of ten people who actually like this film. It may have something to do with the presence of Diane Lane. Okay, a lot to do with the presence of Diane Lane.

One Bad Costume: Mark Hand in Barbarella

How best to describe this hairy... thing worn and stripped from by Ugo Tognazzi? Bad Bigfoot? Cheesy Chewbacca? The only thing fuzzier than the costume is Ugo himself once he's disrobed. Yikes!

Cavebabble Episode 80: Asian Horror- Recycle the Silk Pulse Phone

Four Asian countries. Four films. A million scares. Tonight, we delve into the supernatural worlds of Pulse, Phone, Re-Cycle and Silk. Join us if you dare. This episode is brought to you by Creepy Girls.

One Bad Costume: Batman and Robin in Batman & Robin

These costumes are so infamous and hated that I almost don't want to cover them. Holy nipples, Batman! Full disclosure time- I realize I'm in the minority, but if they removed the nipples, I would like the costumes. Same goes for those in Batman Forever, which feature a cool color scheme.

One (Three) Bad Costume(s): Zod, Ursa and Non in Superman II

Kneel before Zod! The dastardly trio from Krypton take Earth by storm in pure 1980 style. For a fun mix 'n match game, consider swapping clothing between characters. Not happy with Zod's thigh-high boots? Exchange them for Non's platform ones! Add Ursa's split sleeves, and Zodursanon is born! Chest hair not included.

One Bad Costume: Jareth in Labyrinth

I'll take a moment to duck the barbs just thrown by fans of this character... I like him, too. Really. But even fans must admit a snicker or two at the expense of the Goblin King, with his yep-it's-the-80s hair and dangling... participle. If ever there was a costume requiring David Bowie in order to be worn, this is it.

One Bad Costume: Dr. McCoy in Star Trek: The Motion Picture

It's no secret that I absolutely love the Star Trek universe, in all forms other than Enterprise. When it comes to questionable costume choices, however, the original television series and films have produced some tasty examples. My personal favorite is good old Dr. McCoy as he first appears in Star Trek: The Motion Picture. Mountain man beard, huge medallion, dominant belt buckle. Hubba hubba! Somehow, the Seventies are transported to the 23rd century. Deforest Kelley donned enough of these types of clothes in the films that I wonder if they were much different from his actual wardrobe.

One Bad Costume: Aunty Entity in Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome

Tina Turner is a legendary musical performer and has always been known for flashy costumes on stage. As Aunty Entity in Beyond Thunderdome, she wears a doozy- scalloped shoulder pads the size and shape of Sydney's Opera House, beaded gauntlets, the works. The film itself is a guilty pleasure of mine, as is Tina' s goofy performance.

One Bad Costume: Ro-Man from Robot Monster

When it comes to notoriously bad costuming, you can't get much more famous than Ro-Man. The poster child for all things Z-grade in science fiction, he sets the standard for gorilla-suited guys with rabbit-eared helmets. Bonus points should be given for having the character use a bubble machine to communicate with his alien commanders.

Cavebabble Episode 79: Four Food Films

The visual appeal of a fine meal provides the setting for our look at four films with a focus on food. Our feast includes Delicatessen, Eat Drink Man Woman, Big Night and Chocolat. No need to tip, and the dishes can wait until morning. This week's episode is brought to you by Belching.

EyeOh Music Launches

I've spent the last few days turning my creaky old EyeOh music site into a much slicker blog. I'll be featuring a regular rotation of my music there. Anyone interested in having a look and listen, please check out eyeohmusic.com

One (Many) Bad Costume(s): Pairan Aliens in Warning From Space

Japan is well known for interesting costume choices, and the critters in Warning from Space are a great, early example. The warning they bring to Earth is of an impending collision with another planet, but the message most likely was lost amidst the laughter. Credited as the first Japanese science fiction film produced in color.

One (Two) Bad Costume(s): Terl and Ker from Battlefield Earth

Starring in a notoriously bad film is harsh enough without having to do so in a goofy costume. Built something like a Klingon with 80s-style shoulder pads and 70s platform shoes, the Psychlo race could hardly be better named. John Travolta and Forest Whitaker ham it up the best they can, but nothing is able to save this production.

My Oak is Poisonous

My right arm has decided to become half again the size of the left, covered with Godzilla-sized blisters, all thanks to an encounter with poison oak. I'm very allergic to this sort of thing, and it's not been fun. It's at a pretty painful stage. Took a steroid shot to the rear today, which made me very woozy an hour or so later. I can hardly stand looking at my arm, so can imagine how others feel!

A Feast Next Week

We've decided to save our look at films about food until next week. This will give us time to watch a couple more, and babble about them, as well. We're enjoying them, and hope you will, too!

One Bad Costume: Saint Exmin in Battle Beyond the Stars

Sybil Danning is a beautiful woman. In Battle Beyond the Stars, her ability to look good in anything is put to the test. What in the world did they stick on her head, and how did they expect her to deliver lines in it? Maybe bringing fantasy art to life isn't such a great idea, after all...

One Bad Costume: Zed in Zardoz

Over the years, science fiction films have featured some of the oddest costuming. To kick off our celebration, we begin with one of the worst. Sean Connery, playing Zed in John Boorman's Zardoz, sports a red diaper, tall boots, a ponytail, and a handlebar mustache. At this point, the jokes write themselves, don't they? The costumes in the film were designed by the director's wife, so perhaps no one was willing to tell him how silly they were.

Favorite Foreign Films: The Seven Samurai (1954)

Film: The Seven Samurai
Country: Japan
Director: Akira Kurosawa

I stayed away as long as I could, but finally will visit the world of Kurosawa. The inspiration for countless directors, including Steven Spielberg and George Lucas, Kurosawa's work continues to be legendary. If asked to choose the single film which best displays what I love most about his films, I would have a difficult time choosing between The Seven Samurai and Yojimbo. I've chosen to feature the former, but consider the latter, as well, if you've not seen it. Either way, Toshiro Mifune's performances deserve accolades.

Favorite Foreign Films: Pan's Labyrinth (2006)

Film: Pan's Labyrinth

Country: Mexico/Spain/USA

Director: Guillermo del Toro

Wildly stylish. Achingly dramatic. Forebodingly creepy. There are many ways to describe Guillermo del Toro's dramatic fantasy, set in 1944 Spain. Ivana Baquero is perfect in the role of young Ofelia, taking refuge from the horrors of daily life with her fascist stepfather by visiting a vibrant fantasy world. Creature and production designs are top-notch, as is Guillermo's direction. An experience not soon forgotten!